The LARK Program

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Burzum
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The LARK Program

Postby Burzum » Sep 28th, 2006 at 7:58 am

THE LARK PROGRAM


A Lady liberal wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay.

She received back the following reply:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Quada detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay,Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.

You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.

Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.

We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws.

Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views all females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire.

I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time.

Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs". Wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember, we'll be watching.



Good luck!



Cordially, your friend,



GEORGE W. BUSH
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rekloose-[PUPPY]
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Postby rekloose-[PUPPY] » Sep 28th, 2006 at 9:07 am

this was retarded.

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Campsalot
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Postby Campsalot » Sep 28th, 2006 at 9:13 am

but his point is well taken.

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rekloose-[PUPPY]
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Postby rekloose-[PUPPY] » Sep 28th, 2006 at 9:53 am

The letter had no point. Personally, detaining people without trial is bullshit. If they're guilty of anything why not charge them? Then they'll be found guilty and thrown in a jail to rot away. Case closed, no debate.

Also, this letter is obviously fake. We all know George Bush can't put together a cohesive sentence.:p

http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/geor ... shisms.htm

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Burzum
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Postby Burzum » Sep 28th, 2006 at 10:14 am

Yup it's fake for sure.

I think the problem with just throwing them in jail to rott is that they change hands and the people that need the information they may or may not have lose the high level of accessibility. We don't really know who has what information and we're not allowed to torture them so it's hard to get the info from them.

I think the counter to your point would be that we know they're guilty. Just like we know OJ Simpson killed his wife. So what does it matter if they're in Gitmo or Texas State, as long as they don't have American citizenship.
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Postby Nad » Sep 28th, 2006 at 10:47 am

They just need to drop them all off in Antarctica, problems would sort themselves out. I think any criminal threatened with being abandoned on Antarctica would think twice next time.
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rekloose-[PUPPY]
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Postby rekloose-[PUPPY] » Sep 28th, 2006 at 12:04 pm

Burzum wrote: We don't really know who has what information and we're not allowed to torture them so it's hard to get the info from them.


We send the people that we need tortured to other countries (like Turkey) so that they can do it for us. Google "rendition flights".

Burzum wrote:I think the counter to your point would be that we know they're guilty. Just like we know OJ Simpson killed his wife. So what does it matter if they're in Gitmo or Texas State, as long as they don't have American citizenship.


Hahaha how is that a counterpoint? You don't "know" anything about them, so how can you "know" they're guilty? Have you heard their case argued in a court of law? Have you heard their defense? Are you privy to the evidence against them?

How can you possibly know that they're guilty? Because the Government says they are? Haha, what can they be guilty OF?! They haven't been charged with anything! hahahahahha.

:roll:

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EatMoreLead
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Postby EatMoreLead » Sep 28th, 2006 at 2:02 pm

due process fro teh win
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Kahuna Mas
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Postby Kahuna Mas » Sep 28th, 2006 at 2:26 pm

Due process is what we were doing before 9/11.

It's a sticky subject that has to have a middle ground. Yes due process is the appriopriate course of action, but the issue is that in this game of terror, we are the only one's playing by the rules.

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sgarissta
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Postby sgarissta » Sep 28th, 2006 at 3:25 pm

Kahuna Mas wrote:Due process is what we were doing before 9/11.

And...? We throw away two hundred years of law and society because of a terrorist act?

It's a sticky subject that has to have a middle ground. Yes due process is the appriopriate course of action, but the issue is that in this game of terror, we are the only one's playing by the rules.


We are? These rules you mention wouldn't be the rules of the Geneva Convention, or the rules of our Constitution would they? Didn't think so...

Either we're going to do whatever we damn well please, our laws, their laws, everyone's laws be damned, or we're going to go about it within the law. Currently we say we're doing one, and blatantly doing the other.

We are the hypocrits that they claim that we are, either we fix it, or admit it, I don't care which, but denial doesn't get us very far...

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Postby EatMoreLead » Sep 28th, 2006 at 8:53 pm

If we are different from the terrorists, then we need to act with more ethics and humanity. I'd rather lose the war on terror than my civil rights.
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sohpriest
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Postby sohpriest » Sep 28th, 2006 at 9:23 pm

if you lose the war on terror you will have whatever rights islam gives you. They will not stop until they are all dead or we are islamic.
"I am Jack's smirking revenge."

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Postby Deleted User » Sep 28th, 2006 at 9:50 pm

Too bad you can't win a war against an intangible concept.
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Postby Miracl3 » Sep 28th, 2006 at 9:52 pm

rekloose-[PUPPY] wrote:The letter had no point. Personally, detaining people without trial is bullshit. If they're guilty of anything why not charge them? Then they'll be found guilty and thrown in a jail to rot away. Case closed, no debate.

Also, this letter is obviously fake. We all know George Bush can't put together a cohesive sentence.:p

http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/geor ... shisms.htm

puppy...stfu and get with the program....These terrorist assholes are killing are people. You should know since you've been in college so many years that the letter was a joke. And the fact that u think detaining these fuckhead isnt right...FUCK YOU. They are dressed as civilians. Not part of an army...part of a group. Genova Convention only applies to armies. Man i hate fuckers who want the death penalty to be less severe cus they think lethal injection is...and fuckers who think terrorists deserve right. FUCK YOU
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sgarissta
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Postby sgarissta » Sep 28th, 2006 at 10:02 pm

Miracl3 wrote:
rekloose-[PUPPY] wrote:The letter had no point. Personally, detaining people without trial is bullshit. If they're guilty of anything why not charge them? Then they'll be found guilty and thrown in a jail to rot away. Case closed, no debate.

Also, this letter is obviously fake. We all know George Bush can't put together a cohesive sentence.:p

http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/geor ... shisms.htm

puppy...stfu and get with the program....These terrorist assholes are killing are people. You should know since you've been in college so many years that the letter was a joke. And the fact that u think detaining these fuckhead isnt right...FUCK YOU. They are dressed as civilians. Not part of an army...part of a group. Genova Convention only applies to armies. Man i hate fuckers who want the death penalty to be less severe cus they think lethal injection is...and fuckers who think terrorists deserve right. FUCK YOU


And we aren't killing people (who aren't terrorists) ? Of course the letter was a joke, that doesn't mean that the sentiment put forth in the letter isn't for real. I don't think puppy, or anyone has said they shouldn't be detained, torture != detaining. And yes the Geneva (notice the spelling) Convention is designed to apply to soldiers in a time of war, but haven't we declared we're in a "War on Terror"? And woah...back off the "death penalty" thing, I don't recall that being mentioned in here anywhere. (I'm pro death penalty by the way). And yes, I think if terrorists are held by Americans then they deserve rights (again, notice the spelling.

Poorly worded, spelled, and phrased arguments really degrade your point, btw.

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Postby Miracl3 » Sep 28th, 2006 at 10:21 pm

no the death penalty came from CNN news the other night about all these people crying about how it took a guy 11 minutes to die and he was gurgling his own saliva. But yes may be poorly spelled but they dont deserve rights. just because we declared war on them doesnt necessarily mean that GC rules should apply. Give me an example of when they applied to an organization that was dressed as normal civilians. Had everyday jobs until they were called up. I hope everyone of you liberal bastards get blown the fuck up in a car bomb. Sorry but if u think these guys should have rights...go to hell in a handbasket. Did Kevin Cosgrove have a right. Did the family of 3 ( Wife,husband, and baby) get treated with respect on flight 11? No so shut up about giving them right. Why dont u go over there with you're little makeover bag and give them a massage....a pedicure and a manicure.
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Postby sgarissta » Sep 28th, 2006 at 10:45 pm

Miracl3 wrote:no the death penalty came from CNN news the other night about all these people crying about how it took a guy 11 minutes to die and he was gurgling his own saliva. But yes may be poorly spelled but they dont deserve rights. just because we declared war on them doesnt necessarily mean that GC rules should apply. Give me an example of when they applied to an organization that was dressed as normal civilians. Had everyday jobs until they were called up. I hope everyone of you liberal bastards get blown the fuck up in a car bomb. Sorry but if u think these guys should have rights...go to hell in a handbasket. Did Kevin Cosgrove have a right. Did the family of 3 ( Wife,husband, and baby) get treated with respect on flight 11? No so shut up about giving them right. Why dont u go over there with you're little makeover bag and give them a massage....a pedicure and a manicure.


If that's genuinely what you think, I'm really sorry for you. I wouldn't wish death on anyone just for their beliefs. It's ironic that you're arguing against terrorist's being treated as humans, yet you'd with death upon a fellow american simply because of a disagreement. I've heard simlar statements before, from terrorists. That's the last I'm going to say on this, as it's obvious you're very emotionally involved. G'Night all.

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Postby Deleted User » Sep 28th, 2006 at 11:16 pm

Pop quiz.
Which of these things is more ethical?

-Killing because the victim is dangerous or has killed before

-Killing because you are strongly opposed to the belief system and economic structure of another nation
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Postby EatMoreLead » Sep 29th, 2006 at 12:41 am

Be careful of becoming the monster you are trying to slay - if we indefinitely suspend our laws and trample our civil rights just to fight terrorism, then terorism has already won. What makes us the "good guys" anyway? Because we have more money? Because we have better military? Or is it possibly because we value democratic systems, free speech, and civil rights? Some of you flag-waving, gun-toting, "kill em all" asshats need to remember the concepts our country was founded upon and a little document called the constitution. It is the only thing that gives us superioor moral ground, and if you toss the constitution out, you are no better than the enemy.
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Postby rekloose-[PUPPY] » Sep 29th, 2006 at 12:44 am

Miracl3 wrote:puppy...stfu and get with the program....These terrorist assholes are killing are people. You should know since you've been in college so many years that the letter was a joke. And the fact that u think detaining these fuckhead isnt right...FUCK YOU. They are dressed as civilians. Not part of an army...part of a group. Genova Convention only applies to armies. Man i hate fuckers who want the death penalty to be less severe cus they think lethal injection is...and fuckers who think terrorists deserve right. FUCK YOU


What's the Genova Convention? Is that where the world got together and defined Salami? Are butchers forced to abide by it?

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Postby rekloose-[PUPPY] » Sep 29th, 2006 at 12:52 am

oh, Miracle, I corrected your sig for you:

The only stupid comments and ideas are the unsaid ones (Except in the case of Keyser & Miracl3).


No need to thank me.

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Postby JayPhat » Sep 29th, 2006 at 12:56 am

sgarissta wrote:We are? These rules you mention wouldn't be the rules of the Geneva Convention, or the rules of our Constitution would they? Didn't think so...


Geneva Conventions don';t apply to terrorists because like the U.N., there is no definition for terrorists. Since they have no country of origin to fight for, they have no rights under the Geneva Conventions.

The Constitution applies to the rights of A) U.S. citizens and B) Those who would commit crimes inside of the United States. These people committed terrorist acts on American assets outside of the US, in plain clothes, and represent no government. Under the constitution, they have no rights.
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Postby ender*(gayless) » Sep 29th, 2006 at 1:09 am

attacking the grammar of a statement is so weak-sauce. unless it's from keyser...


jay made the first statement of merit i've seen on this whole thread...just because terror doesn't want to play by any sort of rules, no that doesn't mean we have free reign...but it doesn't give the bleeding hearts any right to cry "INJUSTICE" either.


sorry, but by a lot of normal channels you aren't going to get information out of a person who is willing to sacrifice innocents AND him/herself for their cause without a second thought.
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Burzum
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Postby Burzum » Sep 29th, 2006 at 8:47 am

Ahhhhh. :) I've missed Hardfought's political debates. We should do this more often.

Okay back to the topic:
PUPPY I didn't say me. I said "we". By we I mean the government. They've detained them because based on suspicion. But if our government thinks they're suspicious than lock 'em up! You think American's don't spend months on end behind bars waiting for a fair trial?

EatMoreLead wrote:Be careful of becoming the monster you are trying to slay - if we indefinitely suspend our laws and trample our civil rights just to fight terrorism, then terorism has already won. What makes us the "good guys" anyway? Because we have more money? Because we have better military? Or is it possibly because we value democratic systems, free speech, and civil rights? Some of you flag-waving, gun-toting, "kill em all" asshats need to remember the concepts our country was founded upon and a little document called the constitution. It is the only thing that gives us superioor moral ground, and if you toss the constitution out, you are no better than the enemy.


You're not making much sense. We're the good guys because we do what we think is right. In they're minds they're the good guys. In their minds flying an airplane into a tower full of innocents is makes them the good guys.

Some of you flag-waving, gun-toting, "kill em all" asshats need to remember the concepts our country was founded upon and a little document called the constitution.
I find it interestign that you call out three different groups here. Flag-waving patriots, gun-toting supporters of the second amendment of the constitution, and "kill em all" asshats. I'm guessing the kill 'em all guys fall under the category of racist. To me those are three seperate groups. The first two are strong supporters of America, the constitution and what She was founded on. The last are intollerants that don't belong in our rainbow, PC, melting pot of love and acceptance.

You're arguement contradicts it self and I haven't had enough coffee yet to untangle it.

I think we could seperate the two groups of forum members we have regarding this subject.

1.) Give them a trial or let them go.
2.) Let 'em rot.

Is that the arguement you're submitting EML, Puppy and sgarissta? (That would be #1)
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Postby sgarissta » Sep 29th, 2006 at 9:29 am

ender*(gayless) wrote:attacking the grammar of a statement is so weak-sauce. unless it's from keyser...

When it's so bad it hinders the argument, yes, I'll feel free to correct it, thanks.
jay made the first statement of merit i've seen on this whole thread...just because terror doesn't want to play by any sort of rules, no that doesn't mean we have free reign...but it doesn't give the bleeding hearts any right to cry "INJUSTICE" either.

But we HAVE taken free reign. We aren't obeying any known set of laws, including our own. And the excuse of "it's okay because we're still better than them" is pretty sad. We used to compare ourselves to the best in the world, now everything is done as a comparison of "we're still better than <insert bad guys here>".

I don't believe I've called anything an injustice. I've just pointed out the irony, and hypocrisy in us holding/torturing prisoners of war (I mean, we are at war right?) in US prisons around the world to avoid bringing them TO the US where they would have to get a trial or be released.

sorry, but by a lot of normal channels you aren't going to get information out of a person who is willing to sacrifice innocents AND him/herself for their cause without a second thought.


So guilty until proven innocent right?


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