Hitman

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Burzum
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Joined: Oct 21st, 2004 at 1:05 pm

Hitman

Postby Burzum » Apr 14th, 2006 at 8:04 am

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look?..."

"I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!

What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her. He's naked as well! The b*tch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his d*ck off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a thousand dollars here....."
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

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Best_predator
Banished to Siberia
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Joined: Dec 21st, 2004 at 5:40 pm

Postby Best_predator » Apr 14th, 2006 at 8:42 am

lol
Sneaky bastard...
"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." ~ Goethe

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b0ba
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Joined: Sep 15th, 2002 at 10:17 am

Postby b0ba » Apr 14th, 2006 at 8:44 am

hahhahahahaha

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Jahiliyya
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Posts: 648
Joined: Feb 22nd, 2005 at 9:05 pm

Postby Jahiliyya » Apr 14th, 2006 at 9:18 am

That's a generous guy
There's a blip that hovers that city that can see thry anything, like x-ray, they can see everything you do. ~Keyser

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JayPhat
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Joined: Feb 24th, 2005 at 7:35 pm

Postby JayPhat » Apr 14th, 2006 at 3:17 pm

OK, read up to He saw his neighbors car in teh driveway.

Ends with guy wanting his neighbor shot int eh dick, wife shot in the head. Hitman says, I have a 2 for 1 special for you.

Hello, welcome to 1997.
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rekloose-[PUPPY]
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Joined: Sep 14th, 2002 at 11:38 pm

Postby rekloose-[PUPPY] » Apr 14th, 2006 at 5:30 pm

yuh old skool

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Sandbox
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Joined: May 26th, 2005 at 10:54 pm

Postby Sandbox » Apr 14th, 2006 at 8:40 pm

well i hadn't heard it. funny stuff


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